


Internal

by INMH



Series: Merry Month of Masturbation Fills (2016) [24]
Category: Life Is Strange (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Drama, F/F, Internalized Homophobia, Masturbation, Merry Month of Masturbation Challenge, Mild Sexual Content, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-25
Updated: 2016-05-25
Packaged: 2018-06-10 14:24:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6960598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/INMH/pseuds/INMH
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She should not be having these thoughts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Internal

She should not have been listening to this.  
  
Max must not have heard her come in over the noise of the shower. She must think she’s alone, the last one in the bathroom that morning. It’s easier that way; most of the other girls have already had their time, less likelihood of being bothered. Or harassed.  
  
No, Max must not have heard Kate come in, because otherwise she would be taking some precaution to keep quiet. Max was not an audacious girl.  
  
Or a sinful one. At least, that’s what Kate thought.  
  
And standing under the stream of water from her own shower, which had still, apparently, failed to notify Max that she was not alone, Kate thought about a lot of things.  
  
She thought about how she felt compelled to seek Max out between classes, finding the brunette’s reserved but pleasant demeanor… Attrac-  
  
 _Don’t use that word._  
  
 _That word implies Things you don’t want it to.  
  
Implies that you want Things you shouldn’t want._  
  
That voice, that voice was always her mother’s.  
  
But she’d been hearing Max’s voice lately too, a soft little whisper that says ‘ _that’s so awesome, Kate!’_ when she was starting to doubt the outcome of a drawing, or ‘ _don’t stress so much, you’re a great artist!’_ when she got critiqued in class.  
  
It was such a nice voice.  
  
Max’s breath hitched. Kate’s did too.  
  
She thought about how nice it felt to have Max sitting next to her, their shoulders pressed together as she leaned over to see Kate’s drawings. She thought about how warm she felt when Max was so close to her. She felt _peaceful_ , the way she did when she prayed alone, in church or in the quiet of her room at home.  
  
She should not have thought about prayer. It made her stomach lurch.  
  
 _Sinner._  
  
 _Pervert._  
  
 _Deviant._  
  
 ** _Sick._**  
  
Her father, mother, pastor’s voices. All together, unified in their disgust of Kate and what she knew was in her heart, though she didn’t dare say it out loud.  
  
She thought about how listening to Max touch herself in the stall right next to hers did not fill her with horror quite in the way it should have. Even worse was the fact that, in actuality, there was some temptation there for Kate to touch herself as well.  
  
But she couldn’t do that, remembering with sincere clarity the ‘ _talks_ ’ her parents (mostly her mother) had had with her once she had turned fourteen, talks about the inappropriateness of certain acts and the unacceptable nature of others. Kate knew that if she were to take that first step, just putting her hand somewhere it wasn’t supposed to go because of her warm and fuzzy feelings towards someone she was not meant to have such feelings for, it would open the door to other activities, the worse sort of things.  
  
Although, Max… Max was a good girl, and she did it. Max couldn’t possibly be a deviant, or a pervert. Kate knew her.  
  
Kate adored her.  
  
Abruptly, the water stopped.  
  
Kate froze; her shower was still running. It would be impossible for Max to think she was still alone now. For a long minute or two, Kate heard nothing- not breathing, not footsteps, not clothing being moved.  
  
And then there was a flurry of it. Max was getting dressed at top-speed, and under a minute she had gotten dressed and cleared the bathroom.  
  
Kate covered her eyes and groaned, tipping her head so that the water beat down on the back of her neck.  
  
Maybe it would be best if she tried not to think right now.  
  
-End


End file.
